Rainforest Alliance Learning Network

I’m still in mourning over the end of Heidi Klum and Seal’s marriage. I know that in the grand scheme of things there are worse things in life than their split. I really do have a grasp on reality. But I just adored them together. They seemed to be the most loving, playful, talented couple. I knew I would read about many other celebrity couples who were headed for divorce. I didn’t expect to see them joining the ranks. Their break up really surprised me and I’m not taking the news well. Hearing that these two were splitting got me thinking about all of the celebrity divorces we’re constantly reading about. There seems to be a few common themes throughout each of them. Perhaps we could learn a thing or two from these break ups.

The celebrity problem: Travel schedules.

I’m not one of those people who believes that long distance ends a relationship. Definitely not. But I also think that when you go from doing long distance to living two separate lives then you have a problem. When you’ve got two celebrities in a relationship that means two busy travel schedules. I keep reading about how Heidi Klum and Seal were always in different countries for work. To me that seems fine for a few weeks, but I don’t think a marriage can last when you’re both constantly coming and going and not necessarily in sync with the other person. Lesson for non-celebs: Even if you’re not jetting of to a movie shoot in Japan, you may have to travel for work or other reasons. Your significant other may also have to travel. Or maybe you’re just doing a long distance relationship. This is great, you should both be free to do what you want and need to do. But make sure you’re including the other person in your plans. If possible, try to schedule long trips so you’re not leaving as he’s coming home and vice versa. Find time to talk when one of you is away, even if it’s a bit inconvenient. Put the task at hand first, but don’t forget that you’re one half of a relationship and need to think about the other person’s time and feelings too. If you’re going to be in different time zones send an e-mail before you go to bed so your boyfriend or girlfriend has something sweet to read when he/she wakes up.

The celebrity problem: Egos

There were rumors going around that former NFL player Deion Sanders and his wife were getting divorced because he couldn’t handle her newfound reality show fame. This issue probably happens in other relationships when you pair two celebrities of varying degrees together. And even “regular people” have egos and feelings too, so we can relate. Lesson for non-celebs: Egos are okay. They help you feel confident enough to go after your dreams. But you can’t be competing with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sibling rivalry is normal. Rivalry amongst partners? No. Be proud of what you do and what makes you fulfilled, but also support your partner. No need to feel threatened.

The celebrity problem: “Sources”. 

It seems that every time you open a magazine there’s some “source” or another claiming to have inside information on someone’s failing relationship. These “sources” are more than willing to perpetuate rumors and complicate things. But even if you don’t have Us Weekly writing about you you may have your own “sources.”  They can be anything from Facebook statuses to friends to something someone overhears. Lesson for non-celebs: Don’t let other people or social media complicate your relationship. Keep it between the two of you, don’t be afraid of honest dialogue, and don’t give a complete play-by-play to anyone who will listen, even if it’s tempting.

The celebrity problem: Trust issues.

A while back there was a rumor circulating that Fergie and Josh Duhamel were in trouble because he had a little too much fun at a strip club. Luckily these two were able to work through the problem. But if Fergie hadn’t trusted her man or hadn’t had confidence in her relationship we may have been reading about their divorce. Lesson for non-celebs:  No matter who you are, you have to trust your partner. It doesn’t matter if he’s in the VIP area at the hottest clubs or if he’s out with his friends at your local sports bar. If you aren’t 100% sure that he’s doing the right thing when you’re not around then your relationship will suffer. You’ll let rumors (see #3) get to you and eventually your doubts and insecurities will chip away at your relationship. Have trust in your relationship and find someone who is worthy of that trust.