Blog entry by Sam Anders
I’m one of those guys that’s not too big on canned routines. Haven’t done much of em, because most of the ones I read on the internet don’t sound like something I’d naturally say, but after reading Assanova’s latest post, Perfect Is Forgettable, I realize what’s missing in my openers – my personality.
Normally, I’m a good storyteller, and I love to tell stories about myself and my past, etc. I do this a lot around friends, so much so, that my old roomates used to joke around and say that no matter what the conversation, I could turn it into a story about myself. Which is why, I do so well on dates, not just on dates, but also on the phone – my phone game is nice too – there’s plenty of girls in my past that I never actually took on a date, just got their number, talked to them on the phone every couple of days for a week or two and then wound up banging them the first time I hung out with them. This is because when I have the time to talk to a girl and tell stories about myself, they enjoy them, they enjoy my personality – my humor, my silliness, my cockiness, and my assholishness – they like it all.
Where the problem lies, as I see it, is I don’t really tell stories when I open girls and first meet them – I don’t really have a hard time approaching a girl and saying something – it’s just what to say after that, how to keep the conversation going with a perfect stranger who’s not really giving you much to work with. Most girls, when I approach will basically answer any question I ask them and then just stand there waiting for me to say something else. They don’t talk enough for my normal self to latch on to something and run with it as a story about myself, so it winds up just being small talk in order to keep from stalling out. So, here lies my goal for the weekend…..
My goal for the weekend is to come up with a solid routine. What I want to do is come up with a few good stories about myself that would be good tell, and then work backwards from there and come up with some good questions that I can ask a girl in order to bait her into giving me an answer that allows me to transition into my story – that should be the easy part. The hard part is determining what stories to tell – I’m not just sitting here thinking about stories about myself all day, usually someone has to say something or I have to see something in order to trigger a memory into a story. So, my first step to achieving this goal is to have a lot of conversations with friends this weekend, I might call some people I haven’t talked to in awhile, mainly some old female friends, etc and maybe even record the conversations or at the very least make a note of what I say and what stories I tell, and then see if I have any good stories out of that material that I can base a routine off of.
That’s the plan: to design my own routine that I can easily deliver in almost any opener situation.